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1. Jacque thought aeroplanes could reverse!

2. In an outside tennis court, he said "Shut the door, its cold!"

3. When asked to test the temperature of a DEEP FAT FRYER, he put his hand in!

4. Didnt know you could write on Tippex once it had dried!

5. Farted 36 times, by sucking the fart back in his ass, and fartin it out again (then puked!)

6. Threw a steaming cup of hot chocolate in the air, and tried catchin it again - in his mouth!

7. Stabbed himself with a pencil - to see how much it would hurt! DUH!

8. Suggested that, to calm my nerves, I roll a "splint" (obv he mixed Spliff, with Blunt!)

9. And get this, everyone knows what a HAGGIS is, yeah... Well Jacque didnt! So we told him that it was a 2 legged animal, with one leg shorter than the other, meaning it could only stand on hills!
The only way to catch it is to turn it around so it falls over!
And he believed us!